It began, as these things often do, with a phone call from NASA. Dr. Lisa Chen, a gravitational physicist at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, had detected something unusual in satellite data over northern India. "We were tracking atmospheric anomalies," she told me, "and suddenly there's this dual-lobed mass with a localized gravitational pull that shouldn't exist in a human population center." She paused. "We thought it might be a new mineral deposit. Or a very small, very dense mountain that had somehow gone unmapped."
It was neither. It was Panshul Jindal, a 27-year-old man from Lucknow who has, through what can only be described as an act of cosmic whimsy, developed a chest of such extraordinary proportions that it has created an entirely new field of scientific inquiry: Applied Mammary Physics.
"I've photographed volcanoes, glaciers, and the Great Barrier Reef. I've never felt the presence of something so alive, so impossible, so magnificently excessive."
— Sarah Mitchell, Expedition LeaderThe Expedition
Our team assembled in Lucknow in late March, during the dry season when the heat would be manageable and, critically, when Panshul's thermal expansion would be minimized. Leading the scientific contingent was Dr. Rajesh Kumar Sharma of IIT Moob-bay (formerly IIT Bombay, renamed after the department's pivot to mammary research), who has published 17 papers on what the scientific community now simply calls "The Jindal Configuration."
We were housed in a guesthouse run by a man named Irfan, a master tailor who had made the fateful decision three years prior to accept a commission from Panshul. "He walked into my shop," Irfan told me, his hands still trembling slightly, "and I thought he was carrying watermelons. Under his shirt. Two of them." He paused, staring into the middle distance. "They were not watermelons. They were 14.2 kilograms of existential dread."
📝 Field Note — Day 3
First measurement attempt. Dr. Sharma's standard calipers proved insufficient. We resorted to a modified MRI machine (the standard bore couldn't accommodate the subject) and LIDAR scanning borrowed from the Indian Space Research Organisation. Initial readings: 36DD, 14.2 kg, localized gravity anomaly of 0.00003 m/s². The numbers do not convey the reality.
Measurement Data
The Sharma-Irfan Measurement Protocol (SIMP), developed specifically for this expedition, produced data that has rewritten several chapters of physics textbooks:
The Jindal Configuration — Official Measurements
Comparisons with Other Natural Wonders
To understand the scale of what we were documenting, Dr. Sharma prepared a comparison table that has since been widely circulated in both scientific and mountaineering circles:
| Natural Wonder | Measurement | Comparison |
|---|---|---|
| Grand Canyon (maximum depth) | 1,829 meters | Deep, but geological time |
| Mariana Trench (Challenger Deep) | 10,935 meters | Oceanic, inaccessible |
| Panshul's Cleavage Depth | 12.4 cm | "Perspective is everything. This is deeper than it sounds." — Dr. Sharma |
| Mount Everest | 8,849 meters | Tall, but static |
| Panshul's Chest (oscillating) | Variable amplitude, 1.18 Hz | "A mountain that moves. The Himalayas wish they had this dynamism." — Sharma |
| Great Blue Hole, Belize | 124 meters deep, 318m across | Circular, but predictable |
| Panshul's Areolar Circumference | 46.2 cm per hemisphere | "Proportionally, the Great Blue Hole is boring." — Dr. Priya Reddy |
"The Grand Canyon took millions of years to form," Dr. Sharma noted as we reviewed the data. "Panshul's cleavage depth of 12.4 centimeters developed in approximately 14 years. That is a geological event compressed into a human adolescence. If erosion worked at this speed, the Earth would be flat by now."
Expedition Phase II: The Night Survey
On Day 7 of our expedition, the team elected to conduct the first-ever nocturnal observation of the Jindal Configuration. Captain Deepak Singh, a veteran pilot who had once declared a false cargo emergency when Panshul boarded his IndiGo flight, volunteered to man the LIDAR station overnight. "After that flight," he told me, adjusting his headlamp, "nothing scares me. Except turbulence caused by a single passenger's thoracic oscillation."
The nocturnal readings proved extraordinary. With Panshul in REM sleep, the chest enters a state Dr. Sharma has termed "tidal dormancy" — a slow, rolling oscillation at 0.3 Hz, approximately one-fifth of its waking frequency. The LIDAR captured the motion in a time-lapse that has since been viewed 47 million times on YouTube. The comments section required three moderators and a grief counsellor.
📝 Field Note — Night 7, 02:17 AM
Subject sleeping on back. Both hemispheres in lateral displacement mode — each has drifted approximately 8cm from central axis. The motion is hypnotic. Nurse Rekha Deshmukh, our medical officer, measured Panshul's resting heart rate at 58 BPM. Through the chest tissue, amplified by 7.1 kg per side, the heartbeat is audible from 1.4 metres. Three team members fell asleep to it involuntarily. I cannot blame them. It is the most soothing sound I have ever heard. I am concerned about attachment disorder.
Physiotherapist Kavitha, who had been brought on expedition as a movement specialist, spent the entire night mapping the sleep-state range of motion. "In waking hours, the oscillation has a chaotic element — Panshul moves, gestures, breathes erratically. During sleep, it becomes almost tidal. Predictable. Beautiful, in a way that I am not comfortable admitting in a scientific context." Her full motion-capture dataset is available in the IIT Moob-bay research archive.
Expedition Phase III: The Bazaar Transect
On Day 10, we undertook our most ambitious field operation: accompanying Panshul through the crowded lanes of Aminabad Bazaar, Lucknow's oldest marketplace, to observe the real-world interactions between the Jindal Configuration and civilian infrastructure.
The results were catastrophic.
Autorickshaw Driver Pappu — whom Panshul had hired for transport — stared for a full 30 seconds upon seeing his passenger, then silently turned off his meter and drove away. A second autorickshaw was procured. The driver, who did not give his name, charged triple.
In the fabric market, Sarojini Nagar Shopkeeper Guddu — the only vendor in North India who will sell fabric to Panshul without requiring a structural engineer's co-signature — greeted our team with the weary familiarity of a man who has seen too much. "Sixteen metres," he said, before Panshul had spoken. "That's what it takes. Sixteen metres for one shirt. I used to sell that much for a whole wedding."
"He entered the lane. Three awnings collapsed from wind displacement alone. A chai wallah's stall rotated 15 degrees. One cow — one sacred, immovable Indian cow — moved."
— Sarah Mitchell, field notes, Day 10The cow incident was corroborated by Traffic Cop Pandey, who was stationed at the Aminabad crossing. "I stopped him for an ID check," Pandey told us later, rubbing his eyes. "I got distracted. He got away. The cow also got away. I've been doing traffic duty for 22 years. I've never seen a cow voluntarily relocate."
Restaurant Owner Khan Sahab of Tunday Kebab witnessed the transit from his doorway. "He sat down in our shop once," Khan Sahab recalled. "The chair became art. We have it displayed now. Customers take photos with it. It's our second-highest-rated attraction on TripAdvisor, after the kebabs."
🧭 Bazaar Transect — Damage Report (Day 10)
- Awnings collapsed: 3
- Chai stalls displaced: 1 (15° rotation, confirmed by surveyor)
- Sacred cows relocated: 1 (unprecedented)
- Autorickshaw drivers who fled: 1
- Shopkeepers who pre-emptively measured 16 metres of fabric: 1 (Guddu)
- Seismograph readings triggered at Lucknow University Station: 4
- Shirts lost to button-launch events: 2 (velocities: 38 m/s, 44 m/s)
- Stray dogs now following Panshul: 3 (seeking shade)
Wildlife of the Chest Microclimate
Perhaps the most unexpected discovery of our expedition was the ecosystem that has developed in the "microclimate" created by Panshul's chest. The area between the hemispheres maintains a temperature 2-3 degrees Celsius higher than ambient air, with humidity levels that would be the envy of a tropical greenhouse. Rajesh Kumar's 30-day embedded report documented this microclimate from the inside — our expedition confirmed it from the outside with instruments.
The Jindal Moth (Erebidae panshulii)
A previously undocumented species of moth that has evolved specifically to inhabit the warm, humid environment of the chest cavity. Identified by biologist Dr. Priya Menon, who noted its unusual attraction to sweat and its remarkable tolerance for pendular motion. Wing patterns display a dual-lobed symmetry that Dr. Menon calls "convergent mammary evolution."
The Microbiome Flora
Microbiologist Dr. Anand Joshi collected samples revealing a bacterial ecosystem unique to this environment. "We found strains of Staphylococcus that have adapted to periodic seismic activity," he reported. "They basically evolved to survive earthquakes. They're the toughest bacteria I've encountered outside of a hydrothermal vent."
The Shirt Button (Buttomicus projectilus)
Not a living organism, but the most frequently observed projectile in the Jindal ecosystem. Buttons launched from shirts during resonance events have been documented traveling at velocities up to 47 m/s. "They become lethal projectiles," Dr. Sharma noted. "Irfan now wears safety goggles during fittings." Irfan's apprentice Munna quit on Day 3 of the underwire project after a button strike left a bruise "shaped exactly like a 36DD."
Sthanmugam Jr. (Felis catus jindaliensis)
Panshul's cat Newton was the first domestic animal to establish permanent residency within the chest gravity well. Panshul's dog Biscuit has attempted 47 times to sleep atop the chest but lacks the gravitational intuition of Newton, who treats the subpectoral region as "a personal hammock." Newton has not been photographed in direct sunlight since 2023.
The Colony Stray Dogs
Three unnamed stray dogs from Panshul's residential colony have adopted the Jindal Formation as a shade structure. Watchman Shankar, who guards the colony gate, reports that the dogs "follow Panshul like he's a mobile banyan tree." Col. Bhatia (Retd), the RWA President, filed a formal complaint that "the strays are now a seismic hazard by proxy."
Satellite Imagery
Our collaboration with ISRO provided unprecedented overhead views of the Jindal Formation. ISRO Satellite Analyst Priya Nair personally oversaw the imaging sessions. "ASTROSAT-2 detected the thermal signature on its first pass," she said. "We thought it was a mountain forming. We scrambled the geology team. Then we cross-referenced the coordinates with Google Maps. It was a residential address in Gomti Nagar." She paused. "We had a meeting about whether to reclassify the address."
🛰️ ISRO Satellite Composite — Lucknow Region
Visible spectrum: The Jindal Formation clearly visible against Lucknow cityscape
Infrared: Heat signature showing the chest microclimate (3°C above ambient)
Gravitational density map: Dual-lobe anomaly consistent with 14.2 kg localised mass
Synthetic aperture radar (SAR): Oscillation pattern captured mid-stride, 1.18 Hz
Images: ISRO / ASTROSAT-2 & Cartosat-3, processed by Dr. R.K. Sharma Laboratory, IIT Moob-bay. SAR data: NASA JPL collaboration.
NASA's NEO-2024-PJ designation, initially classified, was declassified after our expedition report. Dr. Lisa Chen confirmed that Panshul's mass is now officially tracked by the Planetary Defense Coordination Office. "It's not a threat," she clarified. "It's just... unprecedented. We track it because we don't know what else to do with the data."
NASA Intern Jake Thompson, who first flagged the anomaly, has since been promoted. His original classification memo — "RE: Near-Earth Object or Near-Chest Object? Please Advise" — is now framed in the JPL cafeteria.
Seismological Data: The Jindal Frequency
Japan's leading seismologist, Dr. Kenji Watanabe, joined our expedition remotely from Tokyo. Dr. Watanabe has tracked 23 "Panshul events" since 2022 — seismic signatures originating from the Lucknow region that match the 1.18 Hz resonance frequency of the Jindal Configuration. "The first time we detected it," he told me via video call, "we evacuated three prefectures. The Japan Meteorological Agency Director Sato issued a public apology. It was the most embarrassing day in Japanese seismology since the invention of the Richter scale."
Seismological Profile — "The Jindal Frequency"
Meteorologist Arvind Kumar now issues daily "mammary weather advisories" for the Lucknow region, a practice that began as a joke and is now, according to the India Meteorological Department, "a genuine public safety requirement." His morning bulletin — "Heavy mammary with a chance of seismic activity" — has 40,000 subscribers on WhatsApp.
The Structural Engineering Question
Our expedition included a two-day consultation with Structural Engineer Priya Reddy, who had previously designed Panshul's custom reinforced chair (cost: ₹2 lakhs; lifespan: 6 months). Reddy was joined by Building Contractor Harish, who had reinforced the bedroom floor of Panshul's apartment using bridge specifications.
"The issue," Reddy explained, sketching force diagrams on Irfan's workbench, "is that most furniture is designed for a static load distributed across a human frame. Panshul's load is concentrated, oscillating, and, critically, pendular. A chair designed for him is closer to a suspension bridge than to a chair."
Harish nodded grimly. "I used the same I-beam specifications as the Gomti River bridge. The floor hasn't cracked yet." He paused. "Yet."
Electrician Guptaji, who maintains the building's systems, added a domestic detail: "The ceiling fan in his room has to work twice as hard. The gravitational field creates a downdraft that fights the updraft from the fan. I've replaced the motor three times. I've started billing ISRO."
📝 Field Note — Day 12
Observed Panshul attempting to sit in a standard plastic Nilkamal chair at a tea stall. Duration before structural failure: 11 seconds. The chair did not simply break — it deformed, achieving a shape that Priya Reddy described as "topologically novel." Tea stall owner Bunty (the chai wallah who operates outside the Lucknow High Court) was unfazed. "He's good for business," Bunty said. "Every time Panshul comes, I sell 50 cups to people who stop to watch."
The Aviation Dimension
No National Geographic report on the Jindal Formation would be complete without addressing the aviation situation. Narita Airport Security Chief Yamamoto, who authored the now-famous 14-page ban letter, granted us a rare interview via a translator.
"The incident of March 2023 is well-documented," Yamamoto began. "Mr. Jindal's transit through our security checkpoint triggered every alarm we possess — metal detectors, mass sensors, and a seismograph we keep for earthquake preparedness. The seismograph is on the third floor. He was on the ground floor." Yamamoto's expression remained fixed. "We also treated three passengers for proximity-induced vertigo. Dr. Tanaka Hiroshi, our airport physician, had never encountered the condition before. He has since published a paper on it."
Air Hostess Priti, who served Panshul on his final IndiGo domestic flight before the Indian Railways accommodation was arranged, provided a memorable account: "Sir, your chest is in 14B. You're in 14A. The passenger in 14B has been displaced to 14C. The passenger in 14C is now in the aisle. The aisle is no longer navigable. We are declaring an emergency."
The Human Element
For all the scientific data, the true story of this expedition is human. Panshul Jindal is not a natural wonder in the traditional sense — he is a 27-year-old man who has become, through no choice of his own, the subject of international scientific inquiry, a Netflix documentary, a Supreme Court case (Panshul v. Gravity, currently before the Indian judiciary), and now a National Geographic feature.
"I just wanted a bra that fits," he told me one evening in Irfan's guesthouse, his eyes tired but warm. "Now I'm a UNESCO nomination. I'm being tracked by NASA. My tailor has PTSD. My Tinder profile says '6 feet tall' but nobody believes me because the other dimensions are more memorable."
Panshul's mother, Sunita Jindal, sat with us briefly during the family interview portion of the expedition. "Beta, ye tera papa ke side se aaya hai," she said firmly. Panshul's father Rajesh Jindal, present but bewildered, is flat-chested. He has been for 54 years. "I don't understand the genetics," he said quietly. "I don't understand any of this." Panshul's grandmother (Dadi) claims a great-grandmother had the same "gift." No photographic evidence exists. The family chooses to believe her.
He paused, adjusting the 7-hook titanium industrial brassiere that Irfan had constructed after three previous nervous breakdowns. "But if my chest can advance science, if it can give Dr. Sharma something to publish, if it can make Irfan famous... maybe it's worth it."
Irfan's wife Shabnam, who we visited on Day 13, offered a different perspective on the cost. "He wakes up screaming about underwire," she said. "It's been two years. The words 'seven hooks' are banned in our household. Our children think their father makes spacecraft."
"The Jindal Formation reminds us that nature still has surprises. That the human body can still exceed our categories, our measurements, our expectations. That there are still wonders to be found — sometimes in the most unexpected thoracic regions."
— Dr. Rajesh Kumar Sharma, IIT Moob-bayThe CERN Connection
In an unexpected development during our expedition's final week, we received a satellite uplink from Dr. Mueller at CERN, Geneva. Dr. Mueller, a particle physicist who had caught wind of the Sharma-Irfan Measurement Protocol results, was eager to offer his perspective.
"The Higgs Boson gives mass to particles," Dr. Mueller said, his face pixelated on the screen but his exasperation clear. "Panshul gives mass to continents. We have spent $13 billion at the Large Hadron Collider to understand mass. He generates it for free. From his chest." A long silence. "I am reconsidering my career."
CERN Physicist Dr. Mueller has since submitted a formal request to ISRO and IIT Moob-bay for a visiting research appointment. His proposal — "Mammary Boson Interactions: Towards a Unified Chest Theory" — is under review.
Legacy and Future Research
As our expedition concluded, questions remained. Will Panshul's Supreme Court case against gravity succeed? (The Chief Justice has indicated the court cannot overrule physics, but expressed sympathy for the plaintiff.) Will UNESCO recognize the Jindal Formation as a World Heritage Site? (France objected, calling it "an insult to Mont Blanc." French Fashion Critic Jean-Pierre countered: "Magnifique. Terrifying. I need wine.") Will Irfan complete the Mark VIII bra before his inevitable fifth breakdown?
IIT Moob-bay PhD Student Rahul, who is three years into his thesis — "Mammary Mechanics in Non-Newtonian Frameworks" — told me he expects to defend in 2028. "If the chest cooperates," he added. "It has its own timeline."
What we do know is this: science has been advanced, limits have been redefined, and a new field — Applied Mammary Physics — now exists because one man in Lucknow defied every expectation of what a human chest could be.
Irfan, the master tailor, perhaps summarized it best as we packed our equipment: "I have made wedding sherwanis for 400 grooms. Nothing prepared me for this. This is not tailoring. This is... this is something else. This is destiny wearing a 36DD."
The Jindal Formation stands. It oscillates at 1.18 Hz. It generates a measurable gravitational anomaly. And it reminds us, as all great natural wonders do, that the world is larger, stranger, and more magnificent than our categories can contain.