Tinder - Panshul, 27

💡 Dating Tip from Panshul's Therapist

"I've been treating Panshul for 18 months. His opening line on dates is always: 'So, how do you feel about gravity?' Most people think it's a metaphor. It's not. If you're reading this, bring a chair with load-bearing specifications. His last date's IKEA chair collapsed. It wasn't the chair's fault." — Dr. Meera Iyer's notes, shared with permission

847

Total Matches

142

Still Active

Dates Completed

Second Dates (It's complicated)

😱 AI-GENERATED PROFILE ANALYSIS

Tinder AI Image Analysis Result: Our facial recognition algorithm originally flagged this photo as "anatomically impossible — likely AI-generated." After 847 verification attempts (including a specialized video call with Trust & Safety Officer Priti Malhotra), we determined: the photo is real. The algorithm was not wrong to be confused. Panshul's face-to-chest ratio (1:14.2) breaks every model we've trained. This face-swap visualization shows what a "normal" profile would look like with his face. It looks wrong because reality is wrong. We have added a new training dataset: "Human Chest Anomalies." Panshul is the only entry.

🤖 Why Hinge Keeps Matching You With Structural Engineers

Hinge's "Most Compatible" algorithm has been producing unusual results for Panshul: 47% of his matches are structural engineers, 23% are orthopaedic surgeons, 18% are bra designers (including one from Milan), and 12% are "other — requires manual review." Hinge VP of Product Rachel Kim leaked an internal memo: "The algorithm isn't broken; it's just uncomfortably accurate. It's detecting something in the profile data that maps to load-bearing professions. We're not going to fix it. The matches have higher conversation rates than average." Architect Meghna (SPA Delhi) is currently the longest-active match. She brought a laser level to their first date. Panshul brought his AIIMS report. They're discussing co-authoring a paper. ↗ Research

💬 Survivor Testimonials

Real quotes from people who've swiped right

👩‍⚕️

Dr. Ananya, 28

Orthopaedic Resident, AIIMS · Matched 5 days ago · STILL ACTIVE

"I'm a resident at AIIMS. Your case file is literally in our teaching curriculum. Case File AIIMS/CHEST/2022/PJ-36DD. Your thoracic vertebrae are an ENGINEERING MARVEL. I did my presentation on your T4-T7 compensation pattern last semester. My attending, Dr. Meera Sharma, cried. She donated ₹14,200 to your GoFundMe. I asked her if it's ethical for me to date a case study. She said 'tell him to wear the support garment on the date.' So... coffee?" ↗ GoFundMe

🏗️

Meghna, 29

Architect, SPA Delhi · Matched 1 week ago · CO-AUTHORING PAPER

"I swiped right because I'm genuinely fascinated by the structural implications. I asked about load distribution — standing vs sitting. He said I sounded like I was interviewing him for a thesis. I said I might be writing a paper on biomechanical load-bearing structures. He said he's already Case Study A at AIIMS, IIT Delhi, and the Railway Safety Commission. I said 'THE RAILWAY THING IS REAL??' I brought a laser level to our first date. He brought his AIIMS report. It was technically the most well-documented first date in Delhi history. We're co-authoring a paper for the Journal of Structural Engineering. Working title: 'Non-Standard Load Distribution in Human Thoracic Architecture.'" ↗ Railways

🧘

Kavya, 26

Yoga Instructor, Hauz Khas · Matched 3 days ago · UNMATCHED BUT STILL LISTENING

"He said his doctor wouldn't allow downward dog due to 'anterior gravitational load.' I thought he was making excuses. Then I Googled him. Then I found the Spotify album with 22 tracks about his chest. Track 18 is literally called 'Tinder Notification Sound (Slowed + Reverb + Seismic).' I unmatched him. But I've listened to the album 4 times. I can't stop. Yoga Instructor Geeta Devi warned me: 'Shavasana only. Other asanas are structurally impossible.' She was right. I'm on my 5th listen." ↗ Spotify

😤

Sneha, 24

Content Creator · Matched 2 weeks ago · REPORTED THEN RE-MATCHED

"Ok ur profile is clearly fake. No one has 36DD naturally. I'm reporting you." [14 minutes later] "OK SO I GOOGLED YOU. THERE'S A SPOTIFY ALBUM??? THERE'S A GUINNESS APPLICATION???? YOU'RE SUING GRAVITY????? why is there an IMDb page why did Victoria's Secret send you a cease and desist" [unmatched, re-matched] "ok fine tell me everything" [47 messages exchanged] "I'm doing a documentary. Can I interview your tailor?" ↗ IMDb

👵

Mom's Friend Neelam Aunty (via family connection)

Family friend · Did NOT match, but found the profile anyway

"Mere bete ko dekho, MBA kiya. Panshul ne kya kiya? ...Oh. Beta, shaadi karao isko. Dulhan chest pe rest karegi. Your mother Sunita told me about this profile. She is worried. She should be worried. I showed my husband. He said 'kuch gadbad hai. Normal chest itna nahi hota.' My husband is a retired engineer. He knows." ↗ Wikipedia

💬 Full Match Conversations

Screenshots from Panshul's DMs. Yes, these happened.

🧘

Kavya, 26 · Yoga Instructor

Hauz Khas, Delhi · Matched 3 days ago

heyy! love your bio 😄 you seem really interesting

Thanks! You teach yoga? That's cool. I used to do yoga actually

omg really? what happened?

My doctor said I can't do downward dog anymore due to "anterior gravitational load"

wait what does that mean

It means when I bend forward, the weight distribution becomes structurally unsound

are you trolling me lol

I wish. Google "Panshul Jindal chest" and then decide if you want to continue this conversation

· Kavya is typing... ·

· 14 minutes later ·

OK SO I GOOGLED YOU

THERE'S A SPOTIFY ALBUM???

THERE'S A GUINNESS APPLICATION????

YOU'RE SUING GRAVITY?????

Yeah. Did you also find the IMDb page ↗ IMDb

THERE'S AN IMDB PAGE

I need a moment

· 2 hours later ·

ok i listened to all 22 tracks on the spotify album. track 18 is about tinder matches. am i going to be on track 23

Probably not. But no promises. Peepee works fast. That's the AI dog who writes the music.

who is Peepee

An AI dog who writes music about my chest. It's complicated.

Kavya has unmatched you

· She later left a comment on the Spotify page. She's listened to the album 6 times. ·

Tinder · Conversation archived

🏗️

Meghna, 29 · Architect (SPA Delhi)

Saket, Delhi · Matched 1 week ago · CO-AUTHORS

Hi! I have to be honest — I'm an architect and I swiped right because I'm genuinely fascinated by the structural implications

That's... the most unique opening line I've gotten. And I've gotten some weird ones.

Can I ask — how does load distribution work when you're standing vs sitting? Is it uniform or does the cantilever effect change with posture?

Are you... interviewing me for a thesis?

I might be writing a paper on biomechanical load-bearing structures inspired by naturally occurring anomalies. You would be Case Study A.

I'm already Case Study A at AIIMS, IIT Delhi, and apparently the Railway Safety Commission. The IR/SEISMIC/2025/PJ-001 order references me by name.

THE RAILWAY THING IS REAL?? I thought that was a meme

IR/SEISMIC/2025/PJ-001. Google it. Side Upper berths only now. Forever.

oh my god

can we meet for coffee? I'll bring my structural analysis kit

That's genuinely the least romantic date proposal I've ever received

I'll also bring wine and a reinforced chair

Deal. I'll bring my AIIMS report.

· Update: They met. She brought a laser level. He brought his AIIMS report. The chair held. It was the most well-documented first date in Delhi history. They're now co-authoring a paper for the Journal of Structural Engineering. Working title: "Non-Standard Load Distribution in Human Thoracic Architecture." ·

Tinder · Conversation active · 156 messages

😤

Sneha, 24 · Content Creator

Dwarka, Delhi · Matched 2 weeks ago · DOCUMENTARY IN PROGRESS

ok ur profile is clearly fake. no one has 36DD naturally. i'm reporting you

Please don't report me again. I've already been reported 847 times. Tinder verified me.

verified how?? you can't verify THAT

Tinder made me do a video verification specifically for this. I'm the only user who's done a "specialized anatomical verification call" with their Trust & Safety team.

you're making this up

The Trust & Safety team member who conducted the call, Priti Malhotra, has since transferred to a different department. Her exit interview is apparently referenced in Tinder's Q3 2024 internal report.

...

why is there a news article about this

why are you on IMDb

why did victoria's secret send you a cease and desist

Which question do you want me to answer first

Sneha has unmatched you

Sneha has re-matched you

ok fine tell me everything

· 47 messages later ·

I'm doing a documentary about internet phenomena. Can I interview your tailor? My research says he's in therapy.

Tailor Irfan is in therapy. His wife Shabnam is on a Spotify track. This family has suffered enough.

I'll pay for their therapy

That's... actually tempting. Let me ask.

Tinder · Conversation active · Documentary pre-production underway

🩺

Dr. Ananya, 28 · Resident, Orthopaedics

AIIMS Campus, Delhi · Matched 5 days ago · ETHICS REVIEW PENDING

PANSHUL?? Is this THE Panshul Jindal?

Depends. How many Panshul Jindals do you know?

I'm a resident at AIIMS. Your case file is literally in our teaching curriculum. Case File AIIMS/CHEST/2022/PJ-36DD

Great so you've seen my X-rays before seeing my face. That's a first.

Your thoracic vertebrae are an ENGINEERING MARVEL. I did my presentation on your T4-T7 compensation pattern last semester. My attending cried.

Was the crying good or bad

She said she'd never seen a spine "so bravely defiant in the face of impossible load conditions"

Tell her the GoFundMe could use her support ↗ GoFundMe

lol she already donated. ₹14,200. She's Dr. Meera Sharma.

WAIT. Your attending is my doctor??

...this is awkward

should I ask her if it's ethical for me to date a case study

Please don't

too late I texted her

she said "tell him to wear the support garment on the date"

I have a 7-hook titanium alloy support garment. Tailor Irfan certified.

I know. It's in your case file. Under "Current Management Protocol."

· Dr. Meera Sharma has requested to be cc'd on all future communications. She says it's "for research purposes." ·

Tinder · Conversation active · Ethics review pending

💅

Fernanda, 31 · Aesthetician

Moved from São Paulo · Matched 4 days ago · CONFUSED

Hello! I'm new in Delhi. Your profile says you need "underwire experience" — are you looking for a bra fitter? I used to work with plus-size clients in Brazil.

I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I'm not looking for a fitter. I already have one. He's in therapy.

...I'm sorry, what?

My tailor. For my support garment. He has PTSD from the 7-hook bra project. It's been two years.

I think there might be a translation issue. My English...

No no, your English is fine. It's the situation that's weird. I'm a man. With a 36DD chest. 14.2 kg. It causes earthquakes. I'm banned from airports.

...Ok I definitely need to Google this

· 20 minutes later ·

I have seen everything in my career. I hadn't seen this.

There's a SPOTIFY ALBUM about your CHEST

22 tracks. I didn't consent to any of them.

I'm going to need a drink before I process this

There's a song called "Bulati Hai Magar Sahne Ka Nahi." Track 9. French Fashion Critic Jean-Pierre does a spoken word interlude. He says "Magnifique. Terrifying. I need wine."

Jean-Pierre and I should start a support group

Would you believe there isn't one yet?

Tinder · Conversation active · Support group planning underway

💔

Tanya, 27 · Marketing Executive

Gurgaon · DATED 2022-2023 · REAPPEARED ON APP

Panshul?? Is this actually you on here again?

Tanya. Hi. Yes, still me. Still on here. Still... this.

I saw the TED Talk. I saw the Spotify album. I saw the Railway thing.

You saw a lot.

I told everyone: "I thought there was another woman. There was. Two of them." People thought I was being metaphorical about your work or something.

You were being literal about my chest.

YES. They were SUFFOCATING. Literally. Do you know what it's like to hug someone and feel like you're being pulled into a gravity well?

I mean... I live with it daily. So yes?

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how things ended. And also to tell you that I'm in your Spotify album.

Track 18 mentions "847 Unmatched Women." Are you one of the 847?

I unmatched you BEFORE the album. Does that count?

I'm not sure how Peepee counts these things.

Who is Peepee

The AI dog who writes songs about my chest. This is my life now.

...I don't know if I regret leaving or not

That makes two of us.

Tinder · Ex match · No hard feelings (mostly)

🐝 Also Active On

Panshul's profile on other dating apps

🐝 Bumble · Panshul, 27

My most controversial opinion is...

Gravity should be opt-in, not opt-out. I'm currently in court about this. ↗ GoFundMe

The way to my heart is...

Through my chest, apparently. Take a number. AIIMS, IIT Delhi, the Railway Safety Commission, and 3 international airports are already there.

After work you can find me...

On the Side Upper berth of the Rajdhani Express. It's the only berth I'm legally allowed to use. ↗ Railways

I'll know it's time to delete this app when...

Someone swipes right WITHOUT googling me first. So far: 0 out of 847 matches.

My personal hell is...

An IKEA showroom. Their chairs are rated for 110 kg. I am 70 kg + 14.2 kg + 14.2 kg. The math doesn't work. I broke a POÄNG once. I'm not allowed back.

Bumble Moderation Note: This profile has been reviewed 142 times. It is not fake. Our Head of Trust & Safety, Kenji Watanabe (who also monitors seismic activity at JMA), has described the situation as "the single most reported real profile in Bumble's history." Kenji is now on sabbatical in Finland.

✧ Hinge · Panshul, 27 · Algorithm's "Most Compatible" with Structural Engineers

I'm looking for someone who...

Has load-bearing furniture. My last date's IKEA chair collapsed. It wasn't the chair's fault. Or mine. It was gravity's. (See: pending litigation.) ↗ Court

A fun fact about me...

I'm the only person in history to have a Spotify album, an IMDb page, a Guinness application, an Indian Railways restriction order, a TED Talk, AND a GoFundMe — all about the same body part. Duolingo made a language about me. ↗ Duolingo

My simple pleasures are...

Lying on my back without causing false earthquake alerts. Wearing a shirt that buttons all the way up. Walking through an airport without being evacuated. Simple things that are, for me, structurally impossible.

Biggest risk I've taken...

Filing a PIL against gravity in the Supreme Court of India. They dismissed it in 47 words. My lawyer, Sr. Counsel R.K. Mammaswamy, says the appeal has a 0.3% chance of success. That's up from 0%. Progress. ↗ GoFundMe

Unusual skills...

I can generate a 1.2 magnitude tremor by breathing. It's not a skill I cultivated. It's just physics. Dr. Kenji Tanaka from Japan has classified 23 "Panshul events" since 2022. I'm a seismic category now.

Hinge Internal Memo [LEAKED]: "Re: User PJ-36DD — Can someone from engineering explain why this profile's 'Most Compatible' algorithm keeps matching him with structural engineers, orthopaedic surgeons, and one (1) bra designer from Milan? The algorithm isn't broken; it's just uncomfortably accurate. We're not going to fix it. The matches have higher conversation rates than average." — Rachel Kim, Hinge VP of Product

🛡️ Tinder Trust & Safety — Internal Report #TS-2024-PJ847

Subject: Profile Review — User "Panshul, 27"
Reports Filed: 847 (all dismissed after investigation)
Report Categories: "Fake Photos" (612), "Catfishing" (142), "Impossible Bio Claims" (67), "This Can't Be Real" (26), "Is This a Prank?" (847th report, filed by a confused intern)
Verification Status: VERIFIED — Specialized anatomical verification conducted via video call on March 3, 2024. Trust & Safety Officer Priti Malhotra conducted the call. Her post-call notes state: "User is verified. Profile is accurate. I need a transfer." She has since transferred to the Billing Department.
Resolution: Profile approved. Added to internal "Anomalous But Real" registry. Warning label added to profile: "This user has been verified as physically anomalous. Swipe at your own risk."
Cross-Platform Status: Same user active on Bumble (142 reports, verified), Hinge (89 reports, verified), and briefly on Shaadi.com (removed by his mother, Sunita Jindal, after 3 hours). ↗ Wikipedia

Note from Tinder CEO: "We've matched him with someone. She's an architect. She brought a laser level to the first date. We're cautiously optimistic. I've been personally tracking this account since the 500th report. This is the most investment I've ever put into a single user's love life." — Bernard Kim, CEO, Match Group

💕 Success Story (Maybe?)

The one match that might actually work

🏗️

Meghna & Panshul — UPDATE

3 weeks since matching · Co-authoring paper · 4th date scheduled

"It started with Tinder. She asked about load distribution. I told her about the Railway incident. She didn't run. She asked for the technical specifications. I sent her the IR/SEISMIC/2025/PJ-001 order. She read all 47 pages. Our first date had a laser level and an AIIMS report. Our second date had wine and a reinforced chair (tested to 200kg). Our third date was a Skype call with Prof. Sanjay Banerjee from Jadavpur University. We're now co-authoring a paper: 'Non-Standard Load Distribution in Human Thoracic Architecture: A Case Study.' She says my chest is 'an engineering marvel.' I say she's 'the first person who didn't immediately ask if I was joking.' We're going to the Railway Museum for our fourth date. They have an exhibit about the Rajdhani Incident now. TTE R.P. Mishra will be there for a book signing. Everything is weird. Everything is good." — Panshul, update submitted to Tinder Success Stories team (they haven't responded)

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