Panshul Jindal's Tits: A Documentary (OFFICIAL) | Category 5 Chest Event
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IIT Moob-bay Official โ
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47M views โข 2 days ago โข #Trending #1 in India
The definitive documentary on India's greatest natural wonder.
Panshul Jindal (b. 1998, Rajasthan) demonstrates proper mammary support techniques during winter sports at an undisclosed ski resort.
Featuring:
โข 36DD of pure confidence
โข Navy blue industrial-grade support
โข Timberland boots in snow
โข Zero shame energy
โข Floral bikini bonus footage
Credits:
๐ฌ Directed by: Anand Gandhi (Documentary Director)
๐ธ Camera: Jose (wide-angle only โ telephoto cuts off the edges)
๐ต Music: DJ Shreya โ "Heavy Drops" (feat. Panshul)
๐งช Scientific Consultation: Dr. R.K. Sharma, IIT Moob-bay
๐ Wardrobe: What's left of Tailor Irfan's legacy (RIP his career)
SUBSCRIBE for more chest-related content.
๐ Research Paper: panshul-tits.pages.dev/research.html
๐ฐ Forbes Coverage: panshul-tits.pages.dev/forbes.html
๐ Wikipedia: panshul-tits.pages.dev
โ๏ธ Court Ruling: panshul-tits.pages.dev/court.html
๐ NASA Classification: panshul-tits.pages.dev/nasa.html
๐ค TED Talk: panshul-tits.pages.dev/ted.html
๐บ๏ธ Google Maps: panshul-tits.pages.dev/maps.html
ยฉ 2026 AI Parliament Productions
Music used:
"Sthan Gana Mana" โ AI Parliament ft. DJ Shreya
"Chuuchi Chuuchi" โ Chaiyya Chaiyya Remix (banned by Indian Railways)
"Gravity (feat. Panshul)" โ Heavy Drops EP
๐ Transcript (Auto-generated ยท English)
Showing key moments โ Show full transcript (47:23)
0:00[Dramatic orchestral music. Slow-motion shot of snow-capped mountains. A seismograph needle twitches.]
0:02[A figure emerges from behind a snowdrift. The camera shakes โ it's not the wind.]
0:03NARRATOR (Anand Gandhi): "In the beginning, there was the chest. And the chest was without form, and void of adequate support."
0:04[Subject P. Jindal walks into frame. 4.7 Hz bounce frequency confirmed by on-site seismograph.]
0:05[Nearby skier (later identified as Australian surf instructor Bazza) drops poles. Quote: "Mate, those things would cause a tsunami."]
0:06[Camera pans to Panshul's face. Complete serenity. Zero shame energy detected. Seismograph reading: 0.003 Richter.]
1:12DR. R.K. SHARMA (voiceover): "When I first saw the subject, I thought: here is a man carrying two futures on his chest."
1:34[Archival footage: Lucknow, 2016. A young Tailor Irfan holds a measuring tape with trembling hands.]
1:47TAILOR IRFAN: "He said 'ek shirt silwa do.' Sir, yeh shirt nahi, yeh shamiyana hai. I tried four patterns. Four. Each one surrendered."
2:03[Irfan's apprentice Munna is visible in background, already packing his bags. He now works at Domino's.]
2:22PRIYA KAPOOR (ex-girlfriend, interview): "The first date was beautiful. The second date, his chest knocked over the candle. The third date, the waiter brought a booster seat. For the chest."
2:51VIKRAM MALHOTRA (roommate): "Three months I lived with that sound. Thud. Thud. Every night. I bought earplugs. Didn't help. You can't earplug a 4.7 Hz frequency. It travels through the floor."
3:15[Montage: Dr. Fatima Begum stares at MRI screen showing "ERROR: OBJECT TOO LARGE." Nurse Rekha Deshmukh holds a carpenter's tape. Dr. Anand Prakash removes his glasses and stares into the middle distance.]
3:42DR. ANAND PRAKASH: "Hormones don't explain this. Physics doesn't explain this. I've published 200 papers. None of them prepared me for a man whose chest has its own weather system."
4:07[NARITA AIRPORT FOOTAGE โ Security camera. Panshul walks through arrivals. Three passengers faint. Japan Meteorological Agency issues false earthquake alert.]
4:23SECURITY CHIEF YAMAMOTO: [subtitled from Japanese] "In 30 years at Narita, I've handled bomb threats, diplomatic incidents, and one escaped penguin. This was worse."
4:47[Camera cuts to Lucknow workshop. TAILOR IRFAN is visible in background, head in hands, measuring tape draped over shoulders like a shawl. He is weeping. The 7-hook bra project prototype sits on the table, bent at impossible angles.]
4:48IRFAN'S WIFE SHABNAM (voiceover): "He came home that day and said nothing. He just sat at the sewing machine and stared. For four hours. I called his mother."
5:30[SUPREME COURT HEARING โ Dramatic reenactment with actual court audio.]
5:44JUSTICE BOOBESH: "Counsel, are you seriously arguing that your client's chest should be classified as a natural disaster?"
5:51SR. COUNSEL MAMMASWAMY: "My lord, I am arguing it should be classified as a national treasure."
5:53[Gallery erupts. Court Clerk Dinesh drops his pen. Chai Wallah Bunty, visible through the window, fist-pumps. His 847th cup just sold.]
6:20ATTORNEY GENERAL KRISHNAMURTHY: "If we compensate this man for gravity, we must compensate bald men for UV radiation. Where does it end?"
6:42JUSTICE BOOBESH: "It ends here. One man, two tits, one vote. Case dismissed." [Gavel]
8:14[NASA HEADQUARTERS โ Jake Thompson presents satellite imagery to stunned colleagues.]
8:30JAKE THOMPSON: "Near-Earth Object 2024-PJ. Mass: 14.2 kilograms. Orbit: stable. Location: one man's chest in Rajasthan. My supervisor didn't believe me. The orbital data didn't care about his beliefs."
9:15DR. MUELLER (CERN, via video call): "The Higgs Boson gives mass to particles. This man gives mass to conversations. To rooms. To buildings. To international airspace."
12:00[VICTORIA'S SECRET HEADQUARTERS โ Former CEO, now on a goat farm in Vermont, speaks via satellite.]
12:15FORMER CEO: "We've measured 10 million women. One man in India broke the system. The measuring tape snapped. The software crashed. I resigned the next morning. The goats don't judge me."
14:47[FINAL SHOT โ Panshul Jindal stands on ski slope at sunset. Wind in his hair. Navy blue bra gleaming. Zero shame. Maximum vibes. Seismograph shows 0.003.]
14:50PANSHUL: "Log kya kahenge? Log toh bahut kuch kehte hain. Ab log mera Wikipedia padhte hain." [People will talk. People do talk. Now they read my Wikipedia.]
14:55[TITLE CARD: "PANSHUL JINDAL'S TITS: A DOCUMENTARY" โ Cut to black. Credits roll. Seismograph needle goes still.]
15:00[POST-CREDITS: Biscuit the dog attempts to climb onto Panshul's chest. Falls off. Attempts again. Falls off. The cycle continues. Newton the cat watches from a shelf, calculating.]
147,293 Comments
โ
Sort by
๐ฏ
"Main toh bas snowboarding karne aaya tha... ab mera Wikipedia page hai." ๐๏ธ
To everyone asking โ yes, the bra survived the ski trip. No, it did not survive the flight home. Thank you Tailor Irfan for your service (RIP his career). Thank you to my mother for blaming Papa. Thank you to Lloyd's of London for NOT insuring me. And thank you to Biscuit (my dog) for still trying to sleep on the chest after falling off 47 times. You're the real hero.
๐ Wikipedia: panshul-tits.pages.dev/wikipedia.html
๐ NASA Classification: panshul-tits.pages.dev/nasa.html
๐ Supreme Court Ruling: panshul-tits.pages.dev/court.html
And to the 847 people who tried to delete the Wikipedia page โ u/NeutralPedia sends his regards. โค๏ธ
To everyone asking โ yes, the bra survived the ski trip. No, it did not survive the flight home. Thank you Tailor Irfan for your service (RIP his career). Thank you to my mother for blaming Papa. Thank you to Lloyd's of London for NOT insuring me. And thank you to Biscuit (my dog) for still trying to sleep on the chest after falling off 47 times. You're the real hero.
๐ Wikipedia: panshul-tits.pages.dev/wikipedia.html
๐ NASA Classification: panshul-tits.pages.dev/nasa.html
๐ Supreme Court Ruling: panshul-tits.pages.dev/court.html
And to the 847 people who tried to delete the Wikipedia page โ u/NeutralPedia sends his regards. โค๏ธ
๐ 89K
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Reply ยท 3.2K replies
๐
Who's here from Wikipedia? ๐โโ๏ธ I was reading about the Higgs Boson โ clicked "mass" โ ended up on "gravitational anomaly" โ ended up on "Panshul Jindal's Tits (Wikipedia)" โ ended up here at 3 AM. I have work tomorrow. I have no regrets.
๐ 47K
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Reply ยท 2.8K replies
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SAME. Wikipedia โ NASA Near Earth Object list โ "NEO-2024-PJ" โ "wait that's a PERSON??" โ here. It's 4 AM. My assignment is due in 5 hours. Worth it.
๐ 12KReply
๐ง
I was studying for JEE Physics. "Calculate the gravitational force of a 14.2 kg mass at distance 0.5m." I googled it for context. Found this. JEE is tomorrow. I'm watching this for the 8th time. Pray for me.
๐ 8.7KReply
๐
Sir please do tutorial on bounce reduction ๐ I also have this problem (not 36DD but still). What exercises? What bra brand? What prayers? My manager noticed during standups (video call). HR has been "notified." PLEASE HELP SIR URGENT.
๐ 34K
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Reply ยท 1.9K replies
๐ฉบ
I designed a 47-step exercise routine for Panshul. He completed 2. Broke a bench. Steps 3-47 remain theoretical. Don't ask me for help. I need help.
๐ 9.4KReply
๐ง
I was consulted for the titanium underwire. "This isn't fashion. This is engineering." The welding certificate I issued for that bra is the most unusual document in my 25-year career.
๐ 6.1KReply
๐ญ
The tailor Irfan crying in the background at 4:47 ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ Bro you can LITERALLY see him wiping his eyes with the measuring tape. The same measuring tape that wasn't long enough. He's not crying because he's sad. He's crying because he TRIED. And the shirt STILL didn't close. RIP legend. ๐ฏ๏ธ
๐ 41K
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Reply ยท 3.1K replies
๐ชก
I wasn't crying. My eyes were watering from the industrial-grade thread. It was 7-hook bra thread. Military specification. My eyes have never recovered. Neither has my career. But mostly my eyes.
๐ 22KReply
๐
He's lying. He was crying. He cries every night. The 7-hook project broke him. Yesterday he saw a tape measure at Big Bazaar and had a panic attack. We had to leave the store.
๐ 15KReply
๐คฉ
I was here when this had 200 views. 200. Now it's 47 MILLION. I witnessed history. I saw a man in a bra on a ski slope at 200 views. I told my friends. They didn't believe me. Now the SUPREME COURT believes him. Life comes at you fast.
Edit: OMG 30K likes thank you all
Edit 2: Mom found this comment. She's proud. And confused.
Edit 3: I'm in the Wikipedia article's "Cultural Impact" section now. As a footnote. I've peaked.
Edit: OMG 30K likes thank you all
Edit 2: Mom found this comment. She's proud. And confused.
Edit 3: I'm in the Wikipedia article's "Cultural Impact" section now. As a footnote. I've peaked.
๐ 30K
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Reply ยท 1.4K replies
๐ญ
Bhai confidence dekho. Main toh shirt utaarne se pehle sochta hoon. This man is wearing a BRA on a SKI SLOPE. Legend.
๐ 24K
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Reply ยท 847 replies
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I loved him for who he is. But the gravitational pull was suffocating. Literally. You can't cuddle when you're being slowly absorbed into a chest cavity. I wish him well. And I wish his next girlfriend a snorkel.
๐ 31K
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Reply ยท 1.4K replies
๐คง
I was his roommate. I thought the sound at night was a weighted blanket. Three months it took me. THREE MONTHS. I'm still in therapy.
๐ 8.2KReply
๐ฏ๏ธ
"Yeh shirt nahi, yeh shamiyana hai. Main haar gaya. Mujhe maaf karo." โ RIP Mohammad Irfan's career (Lucknow, 2016). The first casualty. Never forget. ๐ฏ๏ธ
๐ 18K
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Reply ยท 312 replies
๐
I was Irfan sahab's apprentice. I quit on Day 3 of the 7-hook project. Now I work at Domino's. Best decision of my life. Pizza doesn't fight back.
๐ 5.6KReply
๐ข
He wakes up screaming about underwire. It's been 2 years. The therapist says it's PTSD. I say it's Panshul-TSD. Same thing.
๐ 4.1KReply
๐ฅ
DM us for franchise opportunities. 3.7L/day is commercially viable output. We see a distribution partnership here.
๐ 12K
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Reply ยท 1.2K replies
๐ฅ
I run the Mother Dairy booth near his house. I give him free milk. I call it "brand alignment." Corporate hasn't complained yet.
๐ 3.2KReply
VS
We politely decline. Our engineers have reviewed the specifications and concluded this falls outside our operational parameters. Our former CEO now runs a goat farm. We wish her well.
๐ 9.4K
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Reply ยท 673 replies
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This explains the 47 false seismic alerts from the Jaipur region. We have updated our detection algorithms to filter out "Jindal-class events."
๐ 7.2K
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Reply ยท 219 replies
๐ฏ๐ต
I'm Japan's top seismologist. I've tracked 23 "Panshul events" since 2022. At this point I have a dedicated Panshul monitor in my lab. This is my life now.
๐ 6.1KReply
๐ณ๐ต
Honorary citizenship still available. We see great synergy between our national name and this gentleman's assets. ๐ณ๐ต Visit Nipp-al today!
๐ 5.1K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐ฉบ
I was the first to measure. The ruler was too short. I called for backup. The backup called for backup. We eventually used a carpenter's tape. I've been on desk duty since. Worth it.
๐ 14K
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Reply ยท 456 replies
๐ฌ
MRI machine returned "OBJECT TOO LARGE." I thought it was broken. I called Siemens. They sent a technician. He also thought it was broken. It wasn't broken. It was Panshul.
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 289 replies
โ๏ธ
For the record: "One man, two tits, one vote." Case closed. โ Bench of Justices Mehta, Sharma & Boobesh
๐ 15K
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Reply ยท 2.1K replies
โ๏ธ
I was defense lawyer. "Mere client ke tits constitutional hai." I said this in Supreme Court. With a straight face. My career peaked that day.
๐ 9.7KReply
๐
I filed 847 pages of evidence. I developed carpal tunnel. My doctor says it's the most litigation-related carpal tunnel he's ever seen.
๐ 3.4KReply
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Maine toh do diye โ ab yeh kare restart.
๐ 42K
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Reply ยท 4.7K replies
๐ฑ
Kundli mein likha tha. "Atirikt gravitational field." I told the family in 1998. Nobody listened. Now look.
๐ 2.8KReply
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Sir, we have reviewed your complaint ticket #JI-2024-8847. Unfortunately, "my tits are too powerful for your product" does not qualify for a refund under our warranty policy. We wish you well.
๐ 28K
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Reply ยท 1.8K replies
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We make underwear, not architecture. Please stop filing tickets.
๐ 7.3KReply
โ๏ธ
I declared a false emergency when the cargo weight didn't match the passenger count. Turns out one passenger was carrying 14.2 kg extra. On his chest. I've been flying 22 years. Nothing prepared me for this.
๐ 16K
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Reply ยท 534 replies
๐ซ
"Sir, your chest is in 14B. You're in 14A." I said this professionally. I didn't laugh until I was in the galley. Then I cried. Then I updated my LinkedIn.
๐ 11KReply
๐ซ
New DGCA advisory: Aisle seat only. Window seat is a flight hazard. This is not a joke. This is aviation policy now.
๐ 4.8KReply
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I've been with TSA for 15 years. I've seen everything. Liquids over 100ml. Undeclared fruits. Exotic animals. I had NOT seen this. My training did not cover this. I've submitted a formal request for supplementary training materials.
๐ 13K
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Reply ยท 378 replies
๐งฌ
Hormones don't explain this. Physics doesn't explain this. God might. I've published 200 papers on endocrine disorders. This isn't one. This is something else entirely. I've started praying.
๐ 8.7K
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Reply ยท 167 replies
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His profile said "6 feet tall." It didn't mention the other dimensions. I showed up for coffee. I left with questions. So many questions.
๐ 22K
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Reply ยท 891 replies
๐ฑ
Your pics are real?? I thought it was Photoshop. I've reported 3 catfish accounts that turned out to be his ACTUAL PHOTOS.
๐ 6.4KReply
๐ฐ
We insured the Titanic. We will not make that mistake again.
๐ 35K
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Reply ยท 2.3K replies
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I work for Lloyd's. I insure oil tankers. This is harder. "Act of Panshul" is now an official exclusion clause in 47 countries.
๐ 4.7KReply
๐ช
I quit on Day 1. You can't spot someone whose chest outweighs the barbell. He did 3 pushups. The floor cracked. I called my mom. I'm an accountant now.
๐ 19K
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Reply ยท 445 replies
๐ง
Downward dog is fine. Cobra pose... we don't talk about cobra pose. He flattened three yoga mats. Simultaneously. From the impact.
๐ 7.9KReply
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Kya khilaya mummy ne? Doodh ka bharosa nahi raha. I've been living next door for 8 years. The structural vibrations are REAL. My china cabinet hasn't survived a single morning jog.
๐ 10K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐๏ธ
This is a residential society, not a seismic zone! I've filed 14 complaints with the Municipal Corporation. They keep redirecting me to the Geological Survey. This is NOT a geological matter. This is a SOCIETY matter.
๐ 5.6KReply
๐ซ๐ท
Magnifique. Terrifying. I need wine. Mon Dieu! Ze proportions are... revolutionary! I've dressed kings. I've reviewed couture for 30 years. Nothing has prepared me for zis. Zis is not fashion. Zis is an EVENT.
๐ 8.3K
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Reply ยท 167 replies
๐ท๐บ
I lift 200kg. I respect the 14.2. Per side? Per side. In Russia, chest lifts you. This man IS Russia's dream.
๐ 15K
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Reply ยท 312 replies
๐ท
I shot this documentary. Wide angle only. Telephoto cuts off the... edges. I had to keep backing up. Eventually I was in a different postal code from the chest. Still got a beautiful shot though.
๐ 6.7K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
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Dispatch said one patient. I showed up expecting one patient. I said "Where's the second patient?" They said "There's no second patient." I looked at the chest. I understood. There was definitely a second patient.
๐ 13K
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Reply ยท 267 replies
๐
I've defended the Wikipedia article from 847 deletion attempts. 847. People keep flagging it as "vandalism." IT'S NOT VANDALISM. IT'S ANATOMY. Read the full article: panshul-tits.pages.dev/wikipedia.html
๐ 9.8K
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Reply ยท 423 replies
๐ต
His album broke our genre classification system. We had to add "Mammary Rock" as a new genre. It now has 14.2 million monthly listeners. This is my legacy as an engineer.
๐ 7.4K
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Reply ยท 145 replies
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I spent 45 minutes arguing whether to count "them" separately. My supervisor said one person. The chest said otherwise. Supreme Court had to intervene. I'm now on administrative leave pending "clarity."
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 334 replies
๐ฆ๐ช
I tried to charge import duty on "two additional items." He said they're attached. I said prove it. He proved it. I approved the clearance immediately. I don't get paid enough for this.
๐ 17K
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Reply ยท 489 replies
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Navigation said 300m but I could see the chest from 2km away. Easiest delivery of my career. I didn't even need Google Maps. I just followed the gravitational pull.
๐ 14K
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Reply ยท 256 replies
๐ต
I delivered food to "Panshul's Left Tit, Lucknow." I thought it was a restaurant name. It was not a restaurant name.
๐ 9.2KReply
๐
We don't know how to classify it. It's not a business. It's not a landmark. It's... an event. We've added it to Google Maps as "Category 5 Chest Event (Permanent)." See: panshul-tits.pages.dev/maps.html
๐ 8.9K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐
I personally coded the 14.2x surge multiplier exception. It was supposed to be a temporary fix. It's been 2 years. The exception is now in production. I've given up removing it.
๐ 12K
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Reply ยท 345 replies
๐ฉ
Beta, ye tera papa ke side se aaya hai. I have said this 847 times. His father is flat-chested. FLAT. CHESTED. This is genetics playing a cruel, cruel joke. Also beta, wear a proper shirt in public.
๐ 26K
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Reply ยท 1.7K replies
๐ด
I am flat-chested. Genuinely confused by genetics. I did NOT sign up for this Wikipedia page.
๐ 18KReply
๐ต
His great-grandmother had the same "gift." No evidence exists. But I remember. I REMEMBER.
๐ 7.4KReply
โ๏ธ
The Higgs Boson gives mass to particles. Panshul gives mass to continents. We at CERN are seriously considering redirecting Large Hadron Collider research budget toward this phenomenon. At least we know where THIS mass is.
๐ 20K
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Reply ยท 567 replies
๐บ
He hailed my auto. I stared for 30 seconds. I turned off the meter. I drove away. No money is worth the suspension damage.
๐ 16K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐บ
Bhaiya, meter se jyada weight limit hai. I told him this directly. He wasn't offended. He's heard it before. From every rickshaw driver in Lucknow.
๐ 5.3KReply
๐ฌ
I've dressed 6-foot bodybuilders. This broke me. I designed costumes for the biopic "Seena: The Untold Story." The prosthetics budget alone was โน2 crore. Hrithik refused the role. Said "too unrealistic." HRITHIK.
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 289 replies
๐ญ
I played Hamlet. But Panshul's chest has more dramatic presence. "To bra, or not to bra โ that is the question." Shakespeare is rolling in his grave. Toward Panshul, probably. Gravitational pull.
๐ 6.8KReply
๐ค
So this guy walks into a bar... and the bar files for bankruptcy. The chair broke. The table tilted. The bartender fainted. And Panshul just sat there and ordered a chai. That's the whole joke. That's also exactly what happened.
๐ 21K
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Reply ยท 678 replies
๐๏ธ
I designed Panshul's custom chair. It cost โน2 lakhs. Used bridge specifications โ the same I use for highway overpasses. It broke in 6 months. The chair, not the bridge. Though I'm monitoring the bridge too now.
๐ 9.3K
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Reply ยท 189 replies
โ๏ธ
I cut his hair. I don't look down. We have an understanding. 15 years, not once have I looked below the chin. My neck hurts from looking up. But my soul is intact.
๐ 8.1K
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Reply ยท 123 replies
๐จ
I reinforced his bedroom floor. Used bridge specifications. The same specs I use for flyovers. The municipal corporation asked why a residential apartment needed industrial-grade foundations. I showed them one photo. They approved immediately.
๐ 7.6K
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Reply ยท 156 replies
๐
Our actuarial tables don't go this far. I tried to sell him a policy. My software crashed. The underwriting AI returned "ERROR: INSUFFICIENT PARAMETERS FOR RISK ASSESSMENT." LIC rejected. Star Health rejected. Even the reject letter was bigger than normal.
๐ 10K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐ซก
I salute the chest separately. Old army habit. It's a separate entity. It deserves its own salute. My supervisor says I'm wasting time. I say I'm showing respect to a national landmark.
๐ 13K
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Reply ยท 345 replies
๐จ
He wanted a small tattoo on his chest. There's no "small" there. What started as a butterfly became an eagle. What started as an eagle became a mural. I charged for a small tattoo. I lost money. But I gained a masterpiece.
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 212 replies
๐ฐ๐ท
His chest has more range than most vocalists. I wanted to sign him. SM Entertainment said no. YG said no. JYP called security. But the BOUNCE has rhythm. 4.7 Hz is basically a beat drop.
๐ 8.5K
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Reply ยท 167 replies
๐๏ธ
Episode 47 of "Breast Practices" podcast features Panshul as guest. It was supposed to be 30 minutes. It went 4 hours. The microphone kept picking up the bounce frequency (4.7 Hz) as bass. Our sound engineer quit.
๐ 6.2K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐ฑ
"Panshul transition challenge" โ 47 million views. I peaked. I'm retiring from content creation. You can't top this. Literally and figuratively.
๐ 9.1K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐
I've been running meme pages for 7 years. I've peaked. I'm retiring after Panshul content. Nothing will ever be this good again. I made 847 memes in one night. Each one better than the last. I'm done.
๐ 7.8K
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Reply ยท 156 replies
๐ด
Verified AMA request submitted: "Panshul's tailor." 847K upvotes. The tailor hasn't responded. He's still in therapy. Also I moderate r/PanshulsTits. We have 2.3 million members. More than r/India. Let that sink in.
๐ 6.5K
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Reply ยท 123 replies
๐ป
I keep reopening the gravitational pull question. "How to calculate orbital mechanics for 14.2 kg biological mass?" It's a legitimate physics problem. Marked as: [not a duplicate] [not off-topic] [definitely real]
๐ 5.4K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐
He sat down in my restaurant. The chair became art. A permanent installation. I haven't removed it. Customers take selfies with it. It's now a tourist attraction. Business up 47%.
๐ 8.7K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐ฝ๏ธ
I was reviewing the restaurant. I ended up reviewing his chest. 5 stars. For both the kebabs and the mammary architecture.
๐ 4.2KReply
๐ฆ
I stopped him for an ID check. I got distracted. He got away. I'm not proud of this. But I understand. Every traffic cop in Lucknow understands.
๐ 10K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐ฎ
FIR #847. "Indecent exposure." Sir, he was wearing a shirt. The shirt just... couldn't contain the situation. We had to withdraw the FIR. You can't arrest physics.
๐ 6.7KReply
โ
I sell chai outside the Supreme Court. During the "Panshul v. Gravity" hearing, I sold 847 cups. EIGHT HUNDRED AND FORTY SEVEN. Best business day of my life. I'm praying for an appeal. Please appeal.
๐ 12K
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Reply ยท 289 replies
๐ธ
I needed a wide-angle lens. For ONE person. At the cousin's wedding, I put Panshul in the back row. FAR back. The bra hooks failed during the baraat. The projectile underwire hospitalised two guests. I captured everything. Portfolio piece of a lifetime.
๐ 14K
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Reply ยท 345 replies
๐ฐ๏ธ
ASTROSAT-2 detected it. We thought it was a mountain forming. In real-time. On the plains of Rajasthan. After 3 days of analysis, we realized it was one man's chest. Our satellite now has a permanent Panshul filter. See: NASA Classification Report
๐ 9.6K
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Reply ยท 267 replies
๐ญ
I was the first to classify the chest as NEO-2024-PJ (Near Earth Object). My supervisor thought I was joking. The data wasn't joking. 14.2 kg of data doesn't joke.
๐ 7.3KReply
๐ฆ
We released Panshulese as a language. Downloads: 14.2M. Native speakers: 1. Lesson 1: "Mera seena, meri shaan." Lesson 2: "Bra kahan hai?" Don't forget your daily streak! ๐ฅ
๐ 18K
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Reply ยท 567 replies
๐ฌ๐ง
We've dressed kings. We've dressed queens. We've dressed heads of state. We cannot dress this. The Royal Warrant does not cover this. I've served the Crown for 40 years. This is my Waterloo.
๐ 7.9K
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Reply ยท 145 replies
๐จ๐ณ
I cannot find the meridian points. They've shifted. The chest has created its own energy field. 5,000 years of Chinese medicine and I am defeated by one man from Rajasthan.
๐ 6.4K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐
I jog past his house every morning. My Fitbit registers a gravitational anomaly every time. My step count goes haywire. Apple Health sent me a notification: "Unusual activity detected." Yeah. Unusual is one word for it.
๐ 8.3K
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Reply ยท 156 replies
๐
I charge 1.5x rent. "Heavy objects need heavy deposits." The building engineer visits every quarter. Not for the building โ for HIS floor. The structural assessment alone costs me โน50,000. He's my most expensive and most famous tenant.
๐ 5.7K
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Reply ยท 123 replies
๐ฌ
"Two letters for same address?" No, one per... region. India Post confirmed they have different pin codes. I deliver to both. Separately. It's protocol now.
๐ 7.1K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐ฐ
I aim for the chest from 20 meters. Never miss. Biggest target in the colony. My accuracy has improved 300% since he moved in. I'm being scouted for cricket based on my throwing arm. Thanks, Panshul.
๐ 9.4K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐
woof woof (Translation: I keep trying to sleep on the chest. I've fallen off 47 times. But the warmth... the gravitational pull... I keep going back. It's like a heated dog bed that also generates its own weather system.)
๐ 25K
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Reply ยท 1.2K replies
๐ฑ
*pushes phone off table* (Translation: Named ironically. I treat the chest as my personal gravity well. I've calculated the optimal nap position. The humans call it physics. I call it Tuesday.)
๐ 19KReply
๐งโ๐คโ๐ง
Bhai 8th class mein hi pata chal gaya tha. PE teacher ne resign kar diya. Some things you can't un-see. I told everyone. Nobody believed me. Now there's a Wikipedia page. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW.
๐ 7.6K
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Reply ยท 145 replies
๐
I bullied him in school. Kaash maine nahi kiya hota. Ab dar lagta hai. The chest has only grown. My regret has only grown. We're both expanding.
๐ 4.3KReply
๐๏ธ
I tried to classify the chest as "commercial property" for higher property tax. It generates tourism revenue. It has its own postal codes. It's listed on Google Maps. If that's not commercial property, what is?
๐ 6.9K
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Reply ยท 167 replies
๐งฏ
Emergency exit width insufficient for subject. I've recommended widening all exits in his building by 47cm. The building society quoted โน8 lakhs. They billed Panshul. He filed a PIL. The court said "Not again."
๐ 5.8K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐
I filed an RTI asking the government "What is being done about this chest?" Response (47 days later): "The matter is under review by an inter-ministerial committee comprising representatives from the Ministry of Health, Ministry of Textiles, the Geological Survey of India, and ISRO." THEY ADDED ISRO. ๐
๐ 16K
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Reply ยท 456 replies
๐๏ธ
I offered โน47 Crore to acquire the chest as modern art. He declined. I own a Basquiat. I own a Picasso. I do not own a Panshul. This is the greatest failure of my collection.
๐ 23K
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Reply ยท 1.1K replies
โ๏ธ
Sir, extra legroom won't help. You need extra... chest-room. We regret to inform you that IndiGo does not currently offer this seating configuration. Our engineering team has been consulted. They declined.
๐ 19K
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Reply ยท 678 replies
๐
I am his cousin. I am flat as a chapati. Family reunions are... complicated. Relatives look at him, then look at me, then look back at him. "Genetics ka kya bharosa." The WhatsApp family group has 847 messages about his chest. And 0 about my engineering degree.
๐ 14K
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Reply ยท 345 replies
๐ค
Update: Dadi just commented on this video. She claims great-grandmother had the same "gift." THERE IS NO EVIDENCE DADI. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN EVIDENCE.
๐ 8.9KReply
๐ธ
Photo booth couldn't fit everything. Three attempts. The first photo: only chin and above. The second: chin to waist, no head. The third: we moved the camera to the hallway. Special clearance from the Regional Passport Officer. He now has the widest passport photo in Indian history.
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐
Suspicious bra futures trading detected. Someone was buying 36DD bras in bulk before the video went viral. Traced it. It's Panshul's mom. She's been panic-buying since 2018. This is not insider trading. This is insider parenting.
๐ 17K
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Reply ยท 567 replies
๐
I am the ONLY vendor in Sarojini Nagar who still sells to Panshul. Triple price. Custom orders only. My tent fabric supplier thinks I'm making shamiyana. I'm making shirts. Same thing in his case.
๐ 8.7K
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Reply ยท 189 replies
๐ฅ
I flew from Johns Hopkins to India specifically to verify this case. I came with skepticism and a grant proposal. I left with a funded research program and existential dread. The dread has not subsided. The grant has been renewed twice. This is my life's work now.
๐ 9.3K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐
My PhD thesis: "Mammary Mechanics in Non-Newtonian Frameworks." Year 4. Still ABD. My supervisor Dr. Sharma keeps adding chapters. The latest: "The Ski Slope Paradox โ How Gravity Wins Even Uphill." I will never graduate.
๐ 5.8KReply
๐บ๏ธ
I write geography textbooks. I had to add Panshul's chest to the relief map of India. It's now mandatory curriculum. CBSE Class 10, Chapter 7: "Major Landforms of India โ Plains, Plateaus, Mountains, and Panshul." The board approved it unanimously. One member applauded.
๐ 13K
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Reply ยท 289 replies
๐ง๐ท
I've seen everything in my career. Meu Deus, I thought I had seen everything. I have NOT seen this. This man walked into my salon in Goa. I looked at the chest. I looked at my waxing strips. I looked back at the chest. "Sir, this is a waxing salon, not a construction site." He laughed. The chest bounced. My ceiling fan fell.
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
๐
I wrote the Medium article. "30 Days Investigating Panshul Jindal's Chest." It changed me. Day 1: skepticism. Day 15: curiosity. Day 30: enlightenment. I am not the same journalist. I am not the same man. The chest changes you.
๐ 7.4K
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Reply ยท 145 replies
๐จ
I banned Panshul from the waiting room chairs after "The Incident of 2022." Three chairs. Simultaneous collapse. One domino effect. Seven patients displaced. โน1.2 lakhs in furniture damage. He now gets a bench. The bench is bolted to the floor. The floor has been reinforced. We are prepared.
๐ 10K
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Reply ยท 267 replies
๐ถ
I was called to the hospital by mistake. The receptionist said "36DD emergency." I'm a lactation consultant. I showed up with breastfeeding pamphlets. I left crying. "I'm not qualified for this." Nobody is qualified for this. Nobody.
๐ 15K
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Reply ยท 445 replies
๐
He asked for "extra support." I asked for a structural engineer's note. This is MedPlus policy now. Written into the employee handbook. Page 847. "For requests involving mammary support exceeding standard parameters, require structural certification." That page exists because of one man.
๐ 8.2K
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Reply ยท 156 replies
โก
The ceiling fan in his room has to work twice as hard. It's the gravitational field. Normal fan speed: 350 RPM. In his room: 180 RPM. The motor is fighting physics. I've replaced it 4 times. It's not the motor. It's HIM.
๐ 6.9K
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Reply ยท 123 replies
๐ป
Submitted 14 PRs to open-source-bra repository. All rejected. All identical. The maintainer said "your bra.config exceeds maximum supported parameters." I said "that's the point." Issue #847 is still open. Title: "Support for 36DD+ male chest configurations." Status: wontfix. Status after this video: reopened.
๐ 7.1K
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Reply ยท 89 replies
๐ฑ
BraTracker Pro crashed 7 times. Just like the bra it tracks. 1-star review. Wait no โ 5 stars for accuracy. It perfectly simulates the real experience of trying to support Panshul's chest. The crash IS the feature. Changed to 5 stars.
๐ 5.3K
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Reply ยท 67 replies
๐ค๏ธ
I issue chest-related weather advisories now. "Heavy mammary with a chance of seismic activity." IMD thought it was a joke. Then Panshul jogged past our Delhi station. The barometer dropped 3 points. It's not a joke. It's meteorology.
๐ 9.1K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐
Update from the Bumble date: We went on a second date. He wore a regular shirt. The shirt did not survive the appetizers. The waiter asked if we needed "a table for three." The chest is the third person in this relationship. I'm not sure I'm okay with it. But I'm not NOT okay with it. Help.
๐ 18K
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Reply ยท 567 replies
๐
I was watching "how to fix a leaking tap" โ YouTube recommended "how water displacement works" โ then "objects that displace the most water" โ then THIS VIDEO. YouTube algorithm, what do you know about my life that I don't?
๐ 11K
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Reply ยท 289 replies
โฑ๏ธ
Timestamps for the lost:
0:03 โ Narrator drops the hardest opening line in documentary history
1:47 โ Tailor Irfan's "shamiyana" monologue
2:22 โ Ex-girlfriend Priya's candle story
4:47 โ IRFAN CRYING IN BACKGROUND (bring tissues)
5:51 โ Lawyer Mammaswamy: "national treasure" ๐
6:42 โ "One man, two tits, one vote" (PEAK SUPREME COURT)
8:30 โ NASA intern presents NEO-2024-PJ
12:15 โ Victoria's Secret CEO on the goat farm
14:50 โ Panshul's final monologue (will make you cry)
15:00 โ POST-CREDITS: Biscuit the dog falling off the chest (47th attempt)
0:03 โ Narrator drops the hardest opening line in documentary history
1:47 โ Tailor Irfan's "shamiyana" monologue
2:22 โ Ex-girlfriend Priya's candle story
4:47 โ IRFAN CRYING IN BACKGROUND (bring tissues)
5:51 โ Lawyer Mammaswamy: "national treasure" ๐
6:42 โ "One man, two tits, one vote" (PEAK SUPREME COURT)
8:30 โ NASA intern presents NEO-2024-PJ
12:15 โ Victoria's Secret CEO on the goat farm
14:50 โ Panshul's final monologue (will make you cry)
15:00 โ POST-CREDITS: Biscuit the dog falling off the chest (47th attempt)
๐ 33K
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Reply ยท 1.8K replies
๐จ
I was asked to serve legal papers to "Gravity." In the case of Panshul v. Gravity. I've been looking for 2 years. If anyone knows Gravity's current address, please DM. I just want to close this file.
๐ 12K
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Reply ยท 345 replies
๐
He applied for a patent on "natural gravitational device." I rejected it. Twice. Not because it doesn't work โ it clearly works. But because you can't patent a body part. He appealed. The appeal board said "this is not a body part, this is a phenomenon." I'm being overruled by physics.
๐ 8.4K
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Reply ยท 178 replies
๐ค
I complained to the RWA about "structural vibrations." They said it's not a construction site. I said THEN WHY DOES MY WALL CRACK EVERY TIME HE DOES MORNING EXERCISES? They sent an engineer. The engineer confirmed: not construction. Just Panshul. The engineer billed us. WE have to pay. For HIS vibrations.
๐ 10K
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Reply ยท 234 replies
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