Exhibit I — The Origin
Ski Slope Bra (2024)
The photograph that started a Wikipedia article, a Forbes investigation, a Supreme Court ruling, and 500 nicknames. Panshul Jindal, wearing a navy blue industrial-grade bra, holding a snowboard, surrounded by unsuspecting skiers who have no idea they are witnessing history.
"Panshul Jindal at an undisclosed ski resort, circa 2024. The bra survived 48 hours — a new record." — AI Parliament Archives
Medium
JPEG / Photographic evidence
Bra
Navy blue, 36DD, industrial-grade
Footwear
Timberland boots (desi energy)
Witnesses
12+ skiers (visible in background)
Shame Level
0.00 / 10.00
"I've seen everything in 42 years of tailoring. I had NOT seen this. This photograph gave me PTSD flashbacks to the 7-hook project."
"The seismograph at our nearest monitoring station detected a 0.003 Richter reading at the exact timestamp of this photograph. We have confirmed the camera shake is not artistic — it is geological."
"Mate, those things would cause a tsunami. I've been surfing for 20 years. The ocean doesn't scare me. This photograph does."
Exhibit II — The Escalation
Floral Bikini (Date Unknown)
It wasn't a one-time thing. It was a lifestyle. Panshul Jindal in a full floral print bikini — top and bottom — with sunglasses that say "I know exactly what I'm doing." The confidence radiates at frequencies scientists have not yet measured.
"The sunglasses add +10 to confidence. The bikini adds +∞ to legend status." — Peepee, AI Parliament, 2026
Medium
WebP / Sticker-grade evidence
Outfit
Floral print bikini (full set)
Accessories
Sunglasses (confidence multiplier)
Pattern
Floral — the most aggressive choice possible
Shame Level
Negative (generating shame in viewers)
"Magnifique. Terrifying. I need wine. Ze proportions are... revolutionary! In 30 years of fashion criticism, nothing has prepared me for zis."
"He walked the ramp. The ramp didn't survive. When I saw this bikini photo, I knew — this man doesn't need fashion. Fashion needs him."
"We have the DO NOT MEASURE wall at our Zara store. His photo is at the top. In a floral bikini. As a warning."
"I was on indefinite medical leave after his fitting room visit. Seeing this bikini photo online triggered a relapse. My therapist says I'm making progress. I disagree."
Exhibit III — The Motion Picture
Ski Slope Documentary (6 seconds)
Six seconds that shook the internet. The bounce. The snow. The vibes. This footage has been analyzed by IIT Moob-bay's Department of Applied Chest Physics and confirmed to register 0.003 on the Richter Scale. Cameraman Jose had to keep backing up. "Eventually I was in a different postal code from the chest."
"47 million views. 6 seconds of footage. 14.2 kg of content." — IIT Moob-bay Official YouTube
Duration
6 seconds
Views
47,382,691
Seismic Impact
0.003 Richter (walking)
Bounce Frequency
4.7 Hz
USGS Alerts Triggered
1 (during playback)
Camera
Wide-angle only (Cameraman Jose)
"This footage broke our genre classification. We had to add 'Mammary Rock' as a new genre. It now has 14.2 million monthly listeners."
"His chest has more range than most vocalists. The bounce at 4.7 Hz is basically a beat drop. I wanted to sign him."
"I shot this documentary. Wide angle only. Telephoto cuts off the... edges. But what a shot. What. A. Shot."
Exhibit IV — The Scientific Record
Full-Scale Anatomical Documentation (2024)
Submitted as Figure 1 to the Journal of Unnecessary Anatomy alongside the landmark IIT Moob-bay paper. This image served as primary evidence in three separate legal proceedings including Panshul v. Gravity (2024 SCC 847), the Census Bureau controversy, and BMAI v. Panshul. The Guinness World Records assessor reportedly fainted when presented with this documentation at the verification meeting.
"Evidence Exhibit D-7, submitted to the Supreme Court of India in Panshul v. Gravity. The bench requested the courtroom be cleared for this viewing. Justice Boobesh's exact words: 'This is the most compelling evidence I have ever seen, and I've been on the bench 30 years.'" — Court Records, 2024
Medium
JPEG / Scientific Documentation
Classification
Category 5 Chest Event (GSI)
NASA Designation
NEO-2024-PJ (Near Earth Object)
Court Cases Cited
3 (Supreme Court, Consumer Court, Railway Tribunal)
Peer Reviewers Hospitalized
2 of 3
MRI Attempt
Failed — "OBJECT TOO LARGE"
"MRI machine returned 'OBJECT TOO LARGE.' I thought it was broken. I called Siemens. They sent a technician. He also thought it was broken. It wasn't broken. It was Panshul."
"The Higgs Boson gives mass to particles. Panshul gives mass to continents. At CERN, we've seriously considered redirecting LHC research budget toward this phenomenon."
"I was the first to classify the chest as NEO-2024-PJ — Near Earth Object. My supervisor at NASA thought I was joking. The orbital data wasn't joking."
"ASTROSAT-2 detected it. We thought it was a mountain forming. In real-time. On the plains of Rajasthan."
"His spine is doing things I've only seen in bridges. This anatomical documentation was the most disturbing and magnificent image I've encountered in 30 years of orthopedics."
"I filed 847 pages of evidence in the Panshul v. Gravity case. This exhibit alone was 47 pages. The printing costs exceeded our annual budget."
"I designed a 47-step exercise routine. He completed 2. Broke a bench. Steps 3-47 remain theoretical. The bench has been sent to a museum."
"I tried to sell him life insurance. My software crashed. The underwriting AI returned 'ERROR: INSUFFICIENT PARAMETERS FOR RISK ASSESSMENT.' I've been reassigned to livestock insurance."
Exhibit V — The Wardrobe Graveyard
Fallen Garments Archive (2014–2026)
A memorial collection of bras, shirts, and structural garments that gave their lives in service of Panshul Jindal's chest. Curated by AI Parliament's Department of Textile Archaeology, with contributions from Tailor Irfan's widow Shabnam (his career, not his person), Sarojini Nagar's last surviving Panshul vendor Guddu, and the Industrial Welding Instructor Rajiv who crafted the legendary titanium underwire. Each item tells a story of ambition, engineering, and ultimately, defeat.
👙🪦
2,847 BRAS DESTROYED
IN MEMORIAM • 2014–2026
₹4.7Cr
ANNUAL BRA LOSSES
7
MAX HOOKS ATTEMPTED
1
TITANIUM UNDERWIRE
0
SURVIVED > 6 MONTHS
"These are not garments. They are war heroes." — Shabnam, wife of Tailor Irfan, 2025
Collection
847 recovered items (of 2,847 total)
Materials
Cotton, lycra, kevlar, titanium, hope
Most Notable
7-Hook Bra (Irfan, 2016) — longest-surviving
Cause of Death
"Structural failure under mammary duress"
Insurance Claims Filed
847 (all denied — "Act of Panshul" exclusion)
Welding Certs Issued
1 (titanium underwire, Rajiv, 2023)
"Yeh shirt nahi, yeh shamiyana hai. Main haar gaya. Mujhe maaf karo." He said this in 2016. He hasn't sewn a shirt since. The sewing machine gathers dust. The measuring tape hangs like a noose of memory.
"I quit on Day 3 of the 7-hook project. Now I work at Domino's. Best decision of my life. Pizza doesn't fight back. Pizza doesn't have a gravitational field. Pizza doesn't break your spirit."
"This isn't fashion. This is engineering. The welding certificate I issued for that titanium underwire is the most unusual document in my 25-year career. And the most load-bearing."
"We make underwear, not architecture. Please stop filing support tickets. Your complaint #JI-2024-8847 — 'my tits are too powerful for your product' — does not qualify for warranty."
"I am the ONLY vendor in Sarojini Nagar who'll sell to Panshul. Triple price. Custom orders only. My tent fabric supplier thinks I'm making shamiyanas. Close enough."
"He walked the ramp. The ramp didn't survive. When I saw the aftermath, I understood: this man doesn't need fashion. Fashion needs him. And structural reinforcement."
"We've dressed kings. We've dressed queens. We've dressed heads of state. We cannot dress this. The Royal Warrant does not cover this contingency."
"I've been on the H&M fitting room team for 6 years. His visit put me on indefinite medical leave. When I saw this gallery's bikini photo, I had a relapse. My therapist increased our sessions to thrice weekly."