🩲 open-source-bra

Industrial-Grade Mammary Support System

An open-source solution to the world's most pressing structural engineering challenge: supporting Panshul Jindal's 36DD, 14.2 kg chest across a 47cm nipple span.

📋 Specifications

🚀 Installation

$ git clone https://github.com/panshul-jindal/open-source-bra.git
$ cd open-source-bra
$ npm install  # Installs 847 dependencies (mostly physics engines)

Prerequisites

1. Hire a structural engineer. No, seriously. A textile background is insufficient. You need someone who designs bridges.
2. Obtain titanium alloy Ti-6Al-4V (minimum 200g per underwire).
3. Acquire 7 industrial-grade hooks (source: Irfan's Tailoring, Lucknow — he's the only approved vendor).
4. Read the Supreme Court ruling Panshul v. Gravity (2024 SCC 847) for legal compliance.
5. File structural permit with local municipal authority.
6. Have Dr. R.K. Sharma (IIT Moob-bay) approve your load-bearing calculations.
7. Accept that your CI/CD pipeline will fail. It always fails. The chest exceeds all automated testing parameters.

🏗️ Architecture

                    ┌─── 8cm REINFORCED STRAP ───┐
                    │                             │
              ┌─────┴─────┐                 ┌─────┴─────┐
              │           │                 │           │
              │  LEFT CUP │◄── 47cm ──────►│ RIGHT CUP │
              │  (7.3 kg) │    NIPPLE SPAN  │  (6.9 kg) │
              │           │                 │           │
              │   +3mm    │                 │  NOMINAL  │
              │  OVERSIZE  │                 │           │
              └─────┬─────┘                 └─────┬─────┘
                    │                             │
          ┌────────┴────────────────────────────┴────────┐
          │          TITANIUM UNDERWIRE (Ti-6Al-4V)       │
          │          Load Rating: 14.2kg (EXCEEDED)       │
          └──────────────────┬───────────────────────────┘
                             │
                   ┌─────────┴─────────┐
                   │  7-HOOK CLOSURE   │
                   │  (Industrial)     │
                   │                   │
                   │  Hook 1: ████     │
                   │  Hook 2: ████     │
                   │  Hook 3: ████     │
                   │  Hook 4: ████     │
                   │  Hook 5: ████     │
                   │  Hook 6: ████     │
                   │  Hook 7: ████     │
                   │                   │
                   │  STATUS: STRAINED │
                   └───────────────────┘

          GRAVITY ──────────► 9.81 m/s² (Panshul: 14.2 m/s²)

🤝 Contributing

We welcome contributions from structural engineers, aerospace professionals, and people who have stared into the abyss of 14.2 kg and survived.

• All PRs must include load-bearing test results. No exceptions. We learned this the hard way (see The Incident of March 2024).
• Code must pass the Irfan Review™ — our lead maintainer physically inspects all stitching changes.
• Please include your structural engineering certification number in your PR description.
• Victoria's Secret employees are welcome but must sign an NDA.
• Do NOT submit "just use two regular bras" as a solution. It has been tried. It does not work. There is a graveyard of failed dual-bra attempts in /docs/failures/.

⚖️ License

Jindal Public License v2.0 (JPL-2.0)

Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of this mammary support system, to deal in the System without restriction, including without limitation the rights to use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell copies of the System, subject to the following conditions:

1. The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all copies.
2. Use at your own structural risk.
3. The author (Panshul Jindal) is not liable for any gravitational anomalies, underwire failures, seismic events, or airport bans resulting from use of this System.
4. Any disputes shall be adjudicated under the precedent of Panshul v. Gravity (2024 SCC 847).
5. Irfan gets credit. Always.

🙏 Acknowledgments

• Irfan — Master Tailor, Lucknow. The only human who can thread this needle.
• Dr. R.K. Sharma — IIT Moob-bay. For proving that 14.2 kg is not "within normal parameters."
• The Supreme Court of India — For taking Panshul v. Gravity seriously.
• Mother Dairy — For the sponsorship and for not making the joke.
• Victoria's Secret — For trying. Sincerely. The tears were valid.
• Narita Airport Security — For the learning experience.